Damn if you do, damn if you don't

I wonder sometimes at the depth of ones hurt. More over I wonder if the wound will ever heal. Seems as much as I assure my SheWolf that no matter what female I choose to work with or that I do work with she gets the feelings that something hinky and kinky is going on, when the fact is my world is at least off duty is pretty darn boring and dull. Even with the fact SheWolf, thinks that I'm nailing everything that has a split tail is bedding down here at the Wolf's Lair, the truth is my domicile remains as bare as a turkey drum stick at Thanksgiving. And quite often conversations on the phone are rather heated. No man should have to go through this. So I did some researching online about what dramatic consequences might be incured if I do in fact get married , with my SSI benefits. The resuts I got was not too conclusive so I'm going to look into it more. Together with all this, I think, should a ManWolf like me be better off just prowling alone at least on paper and having a gal just shack up with me. In essence go through the motions of getting married , just not making it legal or buying a marriage license. This is one of many reasons I have hessitated to tie the knot in the first place. All of this would be much easier and me willing to take the risk, if every other day or phone call there wasn't the feud between SheWolf and I. Sure I love her to death, but its one thing having her at a 2500 miles distance in Florida, than in the Wolf's Lair, jumping up my ass all the time. I remember one night here when that home brewed feud festered to the point I had to call the local Police to defuse things, just so I could get sleep. Two things here. It has been said that its the man in a relationship causes abuse. In this case its abuse of the man by the woman, and two; which relates: as it says in a Jerry Reed song, if it ain't at home, it is around the corner. If a man is stressed too much at home, he's going to go where that stress isn't, and yes even the sexual benefits are more plentiful . I'm not saying I'm not going to start cheating on SheWolf, but there are those that have told me, that if I did, I could not be blamed. At the end of next month it'll be when I met SheWolf online on Facebook. Then with some reluctance brought her out here. Outside of about maybe 4 possibly 5 months it's been peaceful and all lovey dovey, the rest has been a war zone. Thank God for Goody's headache powders. When she got here, it was me getting all cozy with bars and BudWeieser , since she hasn't been here, I don't think I have been in a bar since I quit the Tumbleweed. 
Yes, its so true, when dealing with women in a personal way, your Damn if you do and damned if you don't. 
Then there are those that give your mind relief and peace.
More on that in the morning.